I've Seen A Bigger Picture And I'm Looking For Some Answers.

Unlike the last time this blog post might not be so much happy go, or whatever. I have a million things running through my head so I figured I'd blog it up. All of a sudden I'm in this weird mood. It's like a combined select few moods all put together in one, messing with my mind or some sort of thing. It's confusing the crap out of me and I very much dislike it. Even as I type these sentences I'm zoning out and my mind is racing. Is there something wrong with me? No, I'm probably just imagining things and need to go to bed. You came back into my life and I thought that made me happier than ever. Today was like amazingish because of you. But when I think about it, you really hurt me. Hurt me worse than any other boy has before. Everyone is telling me talking to you is a bad idea again. They are probably right... but you're the only one I want. Thinking about all the stuff that you have said to me, done to me, apologized to me. Stuff shouldn't happen as much as it does with you. You've picked multiple girls over me, many different times and after they leave or you leave, you come back. Distance = nothing to me. I can handle it, but can you? We both have webcams/phones and can talk through those. I know it's not as good as being in person but it's also better than not seeing each other at all. I don't think you can and if you can.. PROVE IT to me, for once. Show me you want me over anyone else. I'm tired of being second choice, it sucks. I'm never anyones first pick. That's why I've stopped looking and I'm just waiting for a guy to come to me. You came back to me but you have done that many times, whose to say you won't leave me again. I'm not going to put up with it much longer just saying. So you should make the right choice this time.. I don't know what to do I'm just so confused ............. Boys are manwhores. I don't know if that will ever change. If you're reading this I'm talking about a boy I'm in love with (if it isn't obvious). No he doesn't live in Manassas, yes you read correctly up there. We webcam together and talk/text. So yeah. If you don't like it oh well. You can't control who you fall for, it's not possible. You can't control who you like, if you like someone tell them. I'm not dating him, so don't think I have a boyfriend. I've just fallen for him. Okay. Well that is all....